One week remains...

Things I love about Panama:
1. Mango trees outside my house.
2. The rainy season.
3. Hammocks
4. Reliable bus systems
5. Nature everywhere
6. Spanish.
7. That indigenous cultures and Afro-Latino and Latino cultures are celebrated.
8. Avocado season.
9. Chickens running around.
10. November
11. Big hearted people
12. Being from a different culture gives me some advantages to get the benefit of the doubt
13. My counterparts are amazing.
14. My site and the people there.
15. My family in Santa Rita.
16. Exotic colorful frogs
17. Waterfalls, rivers and hot springs
18. Mountain breezes
19. Incredible coral and sea life
20. Sancocho
21. Carnival and culecos
22. Bailes
23. Pineapples
24. Santiago patronales
25. How I feel here- welcomed and peaceful.

There's so many things to love about this nation. Since writing my last post, I went to Santa Fe with my counterparts & loads of teachers from school. We sang and ate and drank and danced til like 330 am. The next day we took a Chiva to cerro tute where we climbed to the top. It was so wonderful. It was so exhausting. Getting up early after a late night is not my forte! But of course, I did it. And it was incredible. I had no idea so many teachers would be there. What a gift. It was a massive slumber party and I loved it.
I got to goto Montijo to eat seafood and have a great time with my friends from school: Nilvia y Deisy. Nilvia is one of my counterparts who has also been very generous with me.
Then I was invited to goto my counterpart's house to share in the celebration of her daughter's 18th bday. I went for a bit, but left before the youths (ha) arrived because I went to the movies with my dear pal Winnie. ❤️The next day I attended a birthday party for my counterpart's 10 year old son.  It was so fun. My 3 female counterparts are just fantastic. I adore them.
Monday at school the PE teacher gave me a necklace and earring set that his wife made especially for me. He and I chatted a lot here and there but wow-that was a surprise. Tonight I went to a goodbye party with the university teachers where they gave me a massive cake with my face on it  and showed a slide show of my service and gave me some little gifts and a beautiful card. These university teachers have been so crucial to my service. They helped me find my stride as a PCV.
Today is Tuesday and Friday something else is planned. In service, just like in life, it can be easy (for me) to get caught up in the "have nots" and the comparing of my experiences with others. (I can be very guilty of this!) But I must take time to acknowledge I am very lucky. I'm really trying to soak it all in- all these last moments of hammock sitting with a glass of wine and a book during a rainstorm.
Cheers to you, Panama. 🇵🇦

The Pineapple - 2 weeks left in site...

I have two weeks left in my site & I'm looking back on the past two years. Did I blog and journal like I imagined I would? Nope. Did I get in better shape? Nope. Did I become fully fluent in Spanish? Nope. Did I make friends with everyone in my community? Nope. Did I goto mass every Sunday? Nope.

It's funny what you imagine for yourself & how your expectations are rarely realized. I don't post about difficult moments on FB, so photos often don't tell the full story. It's definitely not easy being a Peace Corps Volunteer, but I've truly been inspired and grateful for this journey in Panama since day one. If I can measure change in me since starting 2 years ago, here's what I can definitively say: I now like Justin Bieber's music; I can have conversations in Spanish with just about anyone as long as they're not yelling; I have hiked and swum in amazing locations; I have gained more insight into what I want in life; I have new friends from all over the USA; I have people here in Panama that I will miss and treasure forever; I have gotten a great deal of sleep and used a lot of sun block & have survived without sunburns; I have read a lot of books (and watched a lot of movies....); I have gone through pairs of shoes from wear and tear; I have learned the differences in nice and gross outhouses/latrines; I have slept in a hammock in a rickety shed; I have camped on a beautiful beach and in a beautiful forest; I have showered under the stars; I have bucket showered & bathed in rivers; I have ridden in the backs of trucks up winding mountain roads hanging on during the bumpy rides; I have single handedly kept Gatorade in business (I'd like to be considered for your next spokesperson); I've lost toenails and been stuck up to my knees in mud; I've attempted and failed at gardening; I've learned to love fried chicken for breakfast; I've had my full torso, arms, and most of my legs "painted" by an indigenous/Embera woman (probably the highlight of my service); I've ridden in hollowed out canoes; I've eaten a lot of mangos; I've tried pig and chicken feet; I've laughed so hard and cried so hard, too; I've had my feelings hurt very badly by other volunteers at times; I've had my heart broken by well intentioned Panamanians who have let me down; I have undoubtedly hurt feelings and let others down, too; I have had crushes that never worked out; I have been hit on by some absolute crazies; I have talked about my faith a lot; I have been upset by how some Catholics behave in Panama and surprised/alarmed to learn that Priests' educations vary based on country; I have seen Nemo & Dory together while snorkeling; I have learned to scuba dive; I have had all my pictures lost when my camera was stolen; I have slept for 2 years in a hot climate without a/c (but not without my fan!!!); I have sweat so so so so so so much; I have learned to sleep with only a light sheet; I've become someone who showers about 3 xs a day; My yoga mat has been used more for sleeping on than I used it for exercise; I have written a fair amount of letters; I have gone from feeling brave for once rescuing a bat to feeling brave because I have killed two; I have given many workshops/seminars to adults and felt good about it; I have been embarrassed by my language skills on many occasions; I started as intermediate low Spanish and now am advanced low Spanish; I can say certain parts of the mass in Spanish and know some songs; I have felt extreme jealousy and extreme pride in other volunteers; I have worn the same 10 outfits for 2 years; I have had boring dreams about real life conversations; I have had teacher nightmares despite not being a classroom teacher (PTSD?); I have fallen in love with ESL; I have been on beaches that few people have visited; I have been able to see my family a few times, but it still feels like not enough when I see how my niece and nephews are growing up; I have felt really alone at times being a Catholic PCV; I have felt very special & honored; I have felt under utilized; I have felt overwhelmed; I have cried at a lunch table during training after a particularly tough Spanish class when I didn't realize I was sick and my host dad told me it's okay and I'm going to be ok, forever carving a place into my heart and solidifying a bond with that family forever; I have felt terrified to leave Panama; I have felt ready. Two weeks left with people and a place that I never imagined for myself. Two weeks left. As I write, my counterpart and friend is picking me up to take me to Santa Fe, where I was told we'd go for two years, but I doubted would happen by now. She is on her way. It is happening. I'm ecstatic. One day at a time in Peace Corps. I have grown in ways I never envisioned and failed in ways I thought I would excel at. Things have been incredibly easy and incredibly hard. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It's seemingly impossible to prepare for.

My experience at this point can be best described by my pineapple: I had a pineapple top in my kitchen for like 2 weeks and I kept meaning to throw it away but never did, so finally during a crazy downpour, I fiendishly cleaned my house and threw the pineapple pathetically from the inside of my house to my back yard embarrassed, knowing I've missed the chance to salvage it. Well- a month later I noticed the pineapple top had taken root and had begun to grow. It is still growing. That is my metaphor for my service.