So, that's where the fear stemmed from. I did speak to the TE director about this fear. I felt he "got it", but as I talked to more and more volunteers and the assistant TE director, I realized he didn't get it.
Then began the anxiety! I arrived at tech week (week before site placement) in Penonome, Cocle with the rest of the 49 folks.
I had been told I was going to have a room and house alone with some person with a dog. I thought, sweet! I was dying to only have to share a bathroom with ONE person instead of 4. I know, silly, but I was excited! Plus, it meant private Spanish help for me! And, sleeping with others in the room has never been my favorite thing. I've done it SO much in terms of camp, hostels, traveling, college, etc, but since being here in Panama - I've really treasured my alone time, since we are always in groups.
Welp. Change those expectations. We arrived in Penonome and I was told, oh actually you'll be rooming with 3 girls and 3 guys. (Girls in one room, guys in the other) So, I went from the tiny house to literally the biggest house of 7 aspirantes. First night I didn't even sleep because it was so hot. We had a fan, but it was tiny and didn't hit me. But let me just say that even though I was really disappointed (bc now I was speaking English all the time, not Spanish, and had to share a shower/bathroom with 6 others with the exact same schedule - PACT flashback anyone?), I did have a great time with Adrian, Dillon, Anson, and my roomies: Kara, Jody, and Brenda. It was an interesting week, and once I finally slept a bit - I felt more like myself, aka not a murderously angry woman. (I kept it to myself, but man, it was tough to be pleasant when your eyes burning with the dream of sleep!)
Silver Linings:
Here was our welcome to the first school when we arrived in Penonome. So sweet.
Just a sampling of one delicious night. Fruit cups? Please and thank you.
During
tech week, I was paired up with my counterpart - Aymee Guzman. An
exceptional lady who spoke excellent English and also happened to be the
coordinator of the English program. The high school was enormous. We
started our day by going to the acto civico and the entire gym was
packed with kids and we had to stand in front and say a few words.
Honestly, I wasn't phased because standing in front of teenagers is easy
for me. I didn't say much, but I did speak.So, Aymee and I bonded over her family pictures and talked a lot about her travels. It was great getting to spend time with her, and meanwhile - I still was able to have my Spanish tutoring. I really fought for it, and I lucked out! So, Kenia followed us to Penonome. Here she is with me at the hat party that was held for us on Thursday night. (Friday night is when we learned our fates.)
The
hat party was fun. We went to a restaurant wearing our hats and had a
chance to celebrate one another by saying nice things. We did an
activity where we drew a name out of a hat and we said what we
appreciated about that person. Such fun. I drew Dillon. That was easy
for me, since he and I were in Spanish class and he really is a terrific
guy. Adrian drew me. Ha. Basically he said I'm a good teacher, which
kind of was eye opening that maybe people don't fully know my
personality? Idk. Also during the week we got to go to karaoke! It was a
good chance to get a bit of reprieve from the intense scheduling of
tech week and the stress of the impending Friday. This picture is me, Brenda, and Natalie. Brenda was actually placed in the site we were 
visiting in Penonome! She also was placed with the outrageously
fantastic host family we had. The grandma reminded of all these 3 Disney characters.
Read: cutest grandma EVER. She was so soft spoken, but silly and so
stereotypical in the sense that she was def trying to fatten us up. All
grandmas everywhere would understand her style. Oh and she had a cane. <3
SO, the week was successful and Friday finally was upon us. We went to school in the morning and headed to Site Placement in the afternoon. It was not exactly how I imagined it. We were told we would be free to leave somewhat early, and we all booked one night at the beach, but in reality - we did not get out of there for a long time. It was frustrating when things did not go exactly on time. And since we only got one night off, it just was a lot to process. The schedule was Friday: site placement and night off, Saturday: day at beach/attempt R&R, Sunday: pack and do laundry because Monday 4:30 AM - depart for Cuidad del Saber to meet counterpart before traveling to to visit our new sites.
I hung out at the beach for a while in the morning, but I was so conscious of my need to pack that I did not want to stay too long. I also needed to go to the ATM and since we have one bank, I ventured on my own to see about finding an ATM on the way home to Santa Rita. Funny enough, I ran into two other aspirantes during the voyage. It was nice because I got to sit with them and hang out and chat.
(A map of group 76 and their sites!)
Anyway
- back to the main event! I was nervous and excited and waited to sit
by my friends. This is my pre-site placement face. Real cute. I just
hoped for a miracle, knowing it was highly unlikely... and finally after
hearing many sites announced and not fully knowing what I was hearing, I
heard my name in La Peña, Veraguas. It was kind of funny considering I
already know my new Regional Leader because he lived with us in Santa
Rita. So, it was emotional for me since I knew it wasn't in near the
mountains - hence, Hot. And I didn't know much else other than it was
outside of a big city - Santiago, and thus it probably wasn't the
tropical paradise I had envisioned either.
So, I survived Site Placement and Tech Week (touch and go at times) and headed to the beach without really knowing how I felt about my new site!
Disney Image Sources:
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Grandmother_Fa
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Grandmother_Willow
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Mama_Odie
La Pena! Hooray. Good teacher is true, but I would have gone with: Amazing ability to make you laugh so hard you pee, spit and cry.
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